Special Forces Seize Clinton Cash, Drugs in Borneo
In the early morning hours on September 1, elements of the 5th Special Forces Group raided a Clintoncontrolled
hacienda on the Island of Borneo in South East Asia, says a White House insider under
promise of anonymity. President Trump approved the operation after receiving viable tips that Hillary
Clinton was hiding $275,000,000 of unreported income at a Clinton Foundation owned estate twenty-five
The third largest island in the world, Borneo is politically divided among three countries: Malaysia and
Brunei to the north and Indonesia to the south. To mitigate potential political fallout, President Trump
conferred with Indonesian Vice President Jusuf Kalla and gained conditional approval to green light the
incursion. The Indonesian government requested fifty percent of seized assets and a promise that
military activity would be swift and limited to a one-kilometer radius around the target, our source said.
“Trump was eighty percent sure the cash was there, but at first hesitated about surrendering it to a
foreign power. Eventually, he capitulated, and told Kalla he’d split any bounty. Trump probably shouldn’t
have mentioned the money, since the Indonesian military could have just swept in and grabbed it all. But
the president was being a good guy, and he figured the Indonesians would better spend the money than
by the Clintons. God only know what Hillary Clinton intended to do with all that cash,” our source said.
After speaking to Kalla, Trump spoke with United States Army Special Operations Command and was told
that a 5 SFG th “Able Team” that
had been covertly training in Singapore could be repurposed and ready for action in less than twelve
“At that point, President Trump said just four words: Great. Make it happen,” our source said.
Under cover of darkness on a moonless night, the twelve man A-team parachuted from a C-130, landing
several kilometers north of their target, and humped on foot to their destination, which, as they had seen
previously on satellite imagery, was the antithesis of anything one might expect a Clinton to own: a rural
two-story villa in a horrible state of disrepair with overgrown weeds as far as the eye can see.
“The place appeared deserted. Looked as if no one had lived there for years. No activity, no sign of life,
and not a single internal light,” our source said. “It was either the best or worst place on Earth to hide
over a quarter billion dollars in illicitly gained money. The team secured the perimeter, and the
commander gave the order to breech the compound,” our source said.
The interior was equally decrepit: the ground was black with soot and floorboards buckled beneath the
soldiers’ weight. Swarms of flies and other biting insects filled each room. Only one area, our source said,
stood apart from the filth and grime; in the basement, the soldiers
discovered a locked steel door that apparently opened into a hidden alcove. They blew the door open
with a shaped C-4 charge and found what they had been sent to find. Corner to corner, floor to ceiling,
the chamber was filled with pallets of banded one hundred dollar bills. Moreover, they found five duffel
bags, each containing approximately one hundred pounds of black tar heroin.
With their objective completed, the Special Forces team requested exfiltration, while the Trump
administration and its Indonesian counterparts discussed logistics on how to transport and distribute the
“I don’t know if the administration has taken possession of its share yet, but I have no doubt that will
happen. The cash and drugs found on Clinton Foundation property will certainly give the president
ammunition to use against Hillary. With any luck, she’ll soon be taking a permanent vacation at
Guantanamo Bay,” our source said.
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